


Strong Enough

by draagonfly



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Sei!Sly, idk tagging as slyao but they could totally just be brothers or whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 15:36:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4143168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/draagonfly/pseuds/draagonfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sly is eternally grateful for the miracle Sei gave him, but seeing his dead brothers face reflected in the mirror is more than a little unsettling.</p>
<p>Based off this Tumblr post >> http://the-captive-princess.tumblr.com/post/83180525615/sei-gives-his-body-to-sly-ok-bye</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strong Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I took something amazing and made it sad I'm so sorry (no I'm not)

“What the fuck is that?”

“Huh? It’s a mirror?” Sly creased his eyebrows at the answer, obviously not being the response he was looking for.

“Well I can see that, but why is it here?” He did everything he could not so sound as uncomfortable as he was. “We already have one in the bathroom, what’s the point of having one in our bedroom too? It’s stupid.” He knew he was being difficult, he could see it in the way that Aoba looked confused, maybe even a little concerned at the strong reaction he had to the fairly innocuous addition to the room.

“Koujaku was getting rid of it and asked if we wanted to take it. It would’ve gotten thrown away otherwise, and I figured since _someone_ broke our old one last week that we could use it.” Sly looked away at the mention of the incident. Granted, he hadn’t really been angry at the mirror, he was just frustrated about something he couldn’t even remember anymore. The mirror was just a casualty, an accident really. Or, that’s what he told Aoba when he had come home to find Sly curled up on Aoba’s bed, pieces of broken mirror littering the corner where it once stood. In Sly’s mind, the destruction of the mirror had just been a bonus.

But he couldn’t tell Aoba that, didn’t want to tell Aoba, because that opened up the door for about a million other things he didn’t want to tell Aoba, most of them pertaining to this body he was in.

“It’s still stupid. We don’t need it.”

Aoba’s face looked like he was trying extremely hard to understand Sly’s unexpected aversion to the mirror (Sly almost made a comment about thinking too hard and hurting himself, but he didn’t). “I know we don’t need it, but I guess I got so used to having one it just feels weird without it. We lived it for 23 years, you know.” Sly’s lips twitched upwards at the use of ‘we’. Ever since Aoba had accepted him as part of himself (more than that, as _his own person_ ) Sly had noticed him taking care to refer to things they had done while Sly was still a piece of his consciousness as things that ‘they’ had done, plural. It took a while to get used to but Aoba always caught himself when he slipped up, and now, a whole year later, it was second nature. It wasn’t just Aoba anymore, never had been, it was Aoba and Sly, together, always. He appreciated the effort Aoba put forward in making sure he always felt included.

Bringing his thoughts back to matter at hand, he scowled at the object in Aoba’s hands and turned away. “Whatever. Just keep it on your side.” He sounded like a child throwing a tantrum, but he couldn’t find in himself to care, too focused on inventing new ways to ‘accidently’ break this new mirror without making Aoba or Tae suspicious.

He heard Aoba set the mirror down and walk towards him. Fuck. This wasn’t good.

“Sly? Is there something bothering you?” Damn Aoba and his endless consideration and concern. No matter what Sly did, Aoba’s first priority was always Sly. Usually it made him (inwardly) happy, it still did, but more than that right now he wished Aoba would drop it and leave him alone.

“No, I’m fine.” It took everything in him to keep his voice steady. He shouldn’t be this shaken by a stupid mirror; he was able to avoid the one in the bathroom just fine, only glancing at it briefly every morning to make sure he didn’t look like a complete wreck before he left the house. If he wasn’t going anywhere, he didn’t look at it at all. But that was something private, something for him to worry about on his own. Aoba didn’t need to concern himself.

Yet, here he was, doing exactly that, rubbing small comforting circles on Sly’s shoulder and making him relax away the tension he hadn’t noticed taking hold of him. “Sly, I know you’re lying to me.” Why did he have to choose _now_ of all times to be perceptive? “Please talk to me, you know I hate seeing you upset.” Slowly, Sly turned to look into Aoba’s eyes. They were filled with warmth and concern and everything Sly had never seen firsthand, until a year ago. They made him want to open up and tell Aoba everything, about how he hated his reflection, couldn’t glance at it for more than a second in the mornings, and how even that much was almost too much to handle. He wanted to tell him how much he missed their brother, and how much he didn’t deserve to be in this body, how he felt he couldn’t live up to the person who had inhabited it before him. And he wanted to tell him how much he hated himself for it.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to put that burden on Aoba, not now that he had finally accepted him and had apologized for pushing him away all those years. It was his job to protect Aoba, to shield him from the ugliness of the world, to make him happy. No, he couldn’t bother Aoba with his petty self-hatred. He would never do anything to risk being thrown away again. Not now, not ever.

“Please, Sly…”

He would remain strong for Aoba, for the one person he could never let down.

“Let me help you?”

And then he was crying, warm tears falling down his pale cheeks, dampening his gradually lightening but still nearly black hair against the pillow. As much as he tried to hold it in, he couldn’t stop the sobs from escaping his throat, shaking his small frame with the force of them. He hated how small he felt, how thin and fragile Sei had been. Then he felt guilty for criticizing his precious gift at all.

Aoba didn’t push him to speak, just continued to rub his shoulder and then drew his fingers through Sly’s hair and down his spine. Sly couldn’t put into words how relaxing the soft touches were. When his sobs lost their vigor and his tears slowed to a near stop, Sly turned around and sniffled lightly and then attempted to speak.

“I don’t deserve you.” That wasn’t exactly how he had wanted to start this conversation, but it was out there and he couldn’t take it back. Aoba’s forehead creased slightly but he made no move to speak, allowing Sly to continue. “I don’t deserve you, or this body, or this life. I broke that mirror on purpose last time, because I hated what I saw in it. Every time I see my reflection I see Sei, someone gentle and selfless and a thousand times more deserving of being alive than me. And it hurts, Aoba, it hurts to know that I’ll never be as good as Sei, that I’ll never be good enough for you. That’s why I don’t look in mirrors, because the only thing I see in them is everything I’ll never be. I’m destructive, that’s my only purpose, to destroy the things that would hurt you. It sucks to know I’ll never live up to Sei but if I could at least be what I was always meant to be I could find peace in that. But…” Sly took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “But I’m not strong enough to protect you anymore.”

At some point his hands had found purchase in the sheets beneath him and he grabbed on tighter, clenched his eyes shut more and waited for Aoba to say something, to tell him how disappointed he was in Sly and that he needed to get over it because there’s nothing they can do about it now. That it was useless to feel sorry for himself, and Sei would be disappointed that he wasn’t appreciating the miracle he was given. At least, that’s what Sly had been telling himself since he realized he couldn’t look at himself for more than three seconds without wanting to break something.

But Aoba said none of those things. Of course he didn’t, this was Aoba, and Aoba was warmth and kindness incarnate. Instead, Sly felt Aoba lower himself to lie down beside Sly and wrap his arms around him, pressing their foreheads together similar to the way he did with Ren. The closeness was comforting and Sly slowly and gingerly released his death grip on the sheets and relaxed his eyelids.

“You are strong enough.”

Sly’s eyes popped open and he swore even his heart stopped beating for a moment, though he wasn’t sure. Aoba must have noticed his shock because he smiled gently and elaborated.

“You’re more than strong enough, Sly.” 

Sly was beyond confused. “But –“

“Sh, just listen. It may not be in the way that you’re used to, but you are. Your strength before was in your ability to protect me from the evil in the world, even if I didn’t realize you were doing it. But your strength now is different. You know what I see, when I look at you?” Sly shook his head and Aoba moved to tuck Sly’s head under his chin and tightened his arms. “I see bright eyes filled with determination and love, even if you try and hide it. I see those gentle smiles you make when you think I’m not paying attention, and how they convey all of the gratitude and kindness you can’t put into words.” Aoba pulled away slightly to look into his eyes. “And I see how hard you work to keep protecting me even now.” He smiled wide and Sly almost started crying again at the sheer amount of happiness radiating from it. “But you know you don’t need to anymore, Sly. No one can be that strong all of the time, not even you. That’s why we have each other. So rely on me sometimes, okay?”

Sly could only nod; words not a thing he thought he could form at the moment, not as though anything he said could accurately convey the relief and appreciation he felt anyway. So he didn’t try to speak, just hugged Aoba as tightly as he could and relished in the weightlessness he felt in his chest. He hadn’t realized just how much his thoughts were weighing him down until they weren’t anymore.

“Thank you.”

Aoba only chuckled. “Don’t thank me, idiot.”

Sly smiled and lightly smacked Aoba’s back.

After a few minutes of enjoying the comforting warmth, Sly cautiously, nervously, spoke again.

“Hey, Aoba.”

“Yeah?”

“We can keep the mirror, if you want.”

Aoba pulled back with a mildly surprised look. “Are you sure? I mean, it’s like you said, we don’t really need it, and if it makes you uncomfortable…”

“It’s fine.” Sly’s lips curved upwards, just barely. “We might as well keep it, since you already brought it here. I promise not to break it this time.”

Aoba laughed, a light, pretty sound. “I know. Okay, we’ll keep it. But promise to let me know if something like that bothers you again, okay?”

“I will, I promise.”

“Good.” With a peck on Sly’s nose, Aoba twisted and made to get up. Sly wasn’t having it. “U-uwah!” Sly pulled him back with more strength than even he had expected, and Aoba fell backwards against Sly’s chest.

“Don’t go yet.” Sly felt Aoba release a long sigh, and was almost scared he had annoyed him. But when he spoke, Sly heard the smile behind his words.

“If you say so.”

So Sly buried his face in Aoba’s shoulder blades, and entwined their fingers together over Aoba’s stomach, cerulean and black hair combining in a way that Sly could only describe as beautiful.


End file.
